#blockstarstatus

As I confessed before, I’m not happy with my weight or my overall health & fitness habits lately. I was a couch-sitting mac-and-cheese-eating machine. For obvious reasons there will always be a soft spot in my heart for both of those glorious activities but the time came to do something about my unhappiness. I’d started eating healthier – almost clean eating but not as drastic, & completing P90X workouts everyday but I still felt like I needed a jolt to get back into things. I decided it would be best, for me, to really ramp up by cleansing my body of all the crap I’d put in it recently. I took a 3 days break from the regular P90X workouts & just did Ab Ripper X since I knew I wouldn’t have the energy to safely execute the regular workouts. I’d always considered cleansing but never pulled the trigger because, honestly, it was daunting. But once I started, I knew I’d feel great coming out the other end of it & I’m so glad I took on this challenge. The following is my journey through the South Block cleanse, or what I lovingly refer to is as: Hell. Just kidding. Kind of…

DAY ONE //

I’d been psyching myself up for the cleanse all week. It’s like my body knew what day it was because I woke up on Day One starving. Not quite hangry, but definetly starving. Trust me, we’ll get to hangry later.

The first juice of my 3-day South Block cleanse was DETOX. I was pleasantly surprised with how not-disgusting it was. I’d actually go so far to say that I really enjoyed it. I plopped a straw in that bad boy & drank it slowly enough to not want to upheave celery but fast enough so that it was still cool & crisp by the time I got to the bottom of the bottle. JUICE ONE DOWN. I felt like queen of the world. As I waited the hour & a half-ish until the next juice on the list, I thought about what cayenne & pineapple would taste like, I wondered what turmeric was & if it would kill me, I thought about how delicious Eggs Benedict would taste at that moment, & more importantly, I contemplated about what exactly I’d gotten myself into. But I was one juice down. & I was beach bound in 23 days. There was no turning back. By the time 11am rolled around I was ready to die so I grabbed GLOW & was surprised at how refreshing, & again, not-gross it was. I internetted my way over to the South Block site looking for a hashtag to share my journey with when I found this uber earthy quote, “A juice cleanse is not a diet. It’s a path to a healthier lifestyle.” Ohmigad, they’re speaking directly to me. This was exactly my intent when I decided to forge through three days with only liquids. My debilitating hunger pangs were stifled by the reassurance that came with that quote. & then I visited the ladies’ room for the 22nd time that morning.

Juice 3: GREENS was less than pleasant. After what seemed like 17 years, I finished the bottle & wanted to curl up to a box of stuffed crust pizza with extra olives. CURE, juice 4, was the kick in the pants I needed. It’s a little sweet + a little spicy. I’ll take it. Take THAT pizza! (In reality I was sobbing, internally. I would have even considered that fake pizza made out of cauliflower at this point) I felt a little indigestion, probably due to the cayenne + ginger, so after freaking out for an inappropriate amount of time & consulting my nutritionist best friend I was apprehensively convinced that I was not dying.

RENEW was easy on the stomach which was a welcomed treat after digesting CURE. That cayenne sure did have a little kick to it. Once it was time for CAVEMAN MYLK I was nearly crying tears of joy because it. is. delish. Not that the other juices (minus 3) weren’t, but this juice is super light, refreshing, & sweet. Exactly what I needed to finish out Day One. I hosted an event that evening & was nervous that I wouldn’t have the energy to make it through so CONFESSION I made myself a salad about the size of my fist with iceberg lettuce, carrots, snap peas & drizzled a lime over top. At least this way I knew I wouldn’t fall over during the event. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized how tired I was & crashed on the couch around 9:30pm. I woke up a handful of times in the middle of the night to use the facilities.

DAY TWO //

I thought I’d wake up hating life & wanting to crawl to the nearest Pizza Hut. Instead I woke up at 6am, sans alarm, feeling really refreshed. I did a P90X ab ripper workout & I downed the first two juices, no problem. Then it was time for GREENS. Lord, help me. I got to it about an hour late, maybe because I was busy & lost track of time or maybe because I was dreading it. On Day One, I didn’t use a straw like I had for the other juices so I assumed that using one for GREENS would make it all better. DID IT EVER. That little baby straw made a world of difference. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I remembered! Victory. Juice 3 + 4: conquered. At this point, I was more than halfway through my first cleanse (by one juice) & I really started feeling positive about the entire experience. I also started to feel that pang of indigestion since I’d just finished the mildly spicy CURE juice but since it wasn’t coupled with debilitating anxiety it was much more manageable that day.

 DAY THREE //

By the time Day Three rolled around, I was already celebrating. I’d made it. I downed each juice like a champ & made sure everyone knew that I’d be free to slam a few Ben’s Chili Bowl half smokes the following day. Kidding. I didn’t just drink juice for the past 72 hours for nothing. In all honesty, Day Three was, by far, the easiest. I had two days under my belt & knew exactly when my body needed the next juice. #BlockStarStatus achieved.

Overall, I was really impressed with how tasty the juices were, how satisfied I was after finishing each one, the responsiveness of the South Block team in regards to all of my crazy questions (like, What is turmeric? or Will I die on Day 2?), & the price. It’s no wonder South Block was voted ‘Best Smoothie’ by CityPaper’s Best of DC.

DS juice cleanse tips:

+ Prep // Wean yourself off of solids about two days before you start your cleanse

+ Pace yourself // Don’t slam three juices at 9am the first day. You’ll be hungry but spread the juices out about every two hours to prevent starvation.

+ Stay positive! // YOU can do this. Tons of people before you have conquered cleanses. You’re cleansing for a reason – keep that in mind. & if all else fails, this chili cheese fry loving lady was able to do it. I have faith in you!

To date, this is the only cleanse that I’ve done but I’m more than happy to answer questions you guys have if you’re interested in knowing a little more about my experience with the South Block cleanse or are prepping to do your own!

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DETOX // cucumber + apple + kale + spinach + celery + parsley + lemon

GLOW // pineapple + apple + fennel + aloe + lemon + mint

GREENS // cucumber+ celery +  + kale + spinach + parsley + fennel + lemon + mint

CURE // pineapple + carrot + lemon + cayenne + turmeric + ginger

RENEW // carrot + apple + beet + kale + lemon + ginger

CAVEMAN MYLK // cashews + h20 + vanilla + cinnamon + dates + pink himalayan + sea salt

 

South Block Juice Cleanse provided by South Block Co. All opinions are my own.

Comments

  1. May 16, 2014 / 10:12 am

    I love South Block’s green smoothies. I definitely need to try their cleanse. I gave Suja’s a go and was not a big fan, but the juices in this one sound a lot better.

  2. May 16, 2014 / 10:36 am

    My 6’4″ boyfriend did it and I have to say, I don’t think juice cleanses are for everyone (his lack of energy was visible by day 3!). But, I think they’re great to get you off caffeine and refresh your system. Glad it worked for you! – J

  3. Jessica H
    May 16, 2014 / 1:05 pm

    HILARIOUS post! Thanks for telling us the honest and painful truth. I will give this a try (well I will think about it).

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